Life has been a whirlwind lately, and not that I mind being busy, but I would love to just have a day where I have nowhere to be. I feel like I am constantly on the go, and at the moment the thought of spending an afternoon on my couch sounds amazing. It's not even so that I can just lay around, it's so that I can get caught up on all the tasks that require me sitting in one place for an extended period of time (paperwork, studying for CNIM and this blog spring to mind). I'm oncall, so fingers crossed that it will be quiet and I may actually get my wish.
In any case, while I have some time to be homebound, waiting around in sick anticipation of my pager ringing, I'm going to try to play catch up with this online journal. While I haven't been great about logging my entries, I have at least made a small list of things I wanted to blog about, so that when I found the time (hopefully the time I have now will suffice) I could still put all those thoughts in here. So here we go...
First up: The Looming 5k.
My friend Queenie has convinced me to join her in a 5k race in March. Let me preface this with the fact that I have NEVER been a fan of running. So, needless to say, I knew this would be a challenge, both physically and mentally for me. I am proud of myself that I have stuck with the workout regimen (Couch to 5k) that I found to build myself up to the 3.1 miles, and I'm excited that I don't completely dread going to do the workout. Having my friend, Lily, to train with has also been a huge help. However I'm still not finding myself thoroughly enjoying the workout, like I do when I am dancing with Zumba or doing step aerobics (I know, somewhat of an 80's throwback, but I think it's fun). It's frustrating because I don't want to hit a wall of boredom with this; otherwise I'm worried I won't stick with it. Right now there are still things to be working towards, but what happens when I can eventually run the entire distance and I don't enjoy it? I think running is a fantastic workout and I know it will offer me a plethora of health benefits if I can stick with it, but I find that in order to stay committed to my workouts I need to find some enjoyment with it. I've still got a few weeks of training left, so maybe it's too early to be worrying about it, but I'm curious if this is something that other runners experienced when they first started running, or if perhaps, this is just something I will never thoroughly enjoy?
Second on the list: the guy.
I'm sure the lack of entries over the past two weeks, has left you wrought with anticipation, wondering what became of the NYE guy. Well, allow me to fill you in. I believe there is one word that sums it up very well: NOTHING. That's right ladies and gents, once again I have stumbled into the shenanigans of another conniving tool. Oh the joys of being a single female in today's society. It would seem that no matter how much slack I am willing to give a guy, he never fails to disappoint. Mr. NYE even bothered to come on a third date (where I cooked him dinner) and initiated a kiss, before he just dissipated into the background like a cloud of dust. Seriously, why did he even bother? They say women are complicated, but I don't think it's a trait only females possess, because I can never figure guys out. I just wish men would do the kind favor of saying what they really think. I like to think of myself as an honest person, and while I try not to be too blunt in the delivery of honesty that may also resemble bad news (ie: I'm not interested), I at least have the decency to say so. True, nobody likes rejection, but it's a lot easier to take when someone is up front about it. So my words of advice to anyone who finds themself on a date with someone they don't intend to see again, "Grow a pair, and just say what you really think." And DEFINITELY do not fake interest; if you aren't going to see the person again, don't kiss them...talk about mixed signals! In the words of Stephanie Tanner, "How rude!"
Okay, I'm done venting about that. I promise.
Topic numero tres: Change.
2010 brought a myriad of changes into my life, all of which I consider blessings in some way or another. However, the biggest change I have noted is the internal transformation I have experienced as a result of those changes. I've always considered myself to be a free spirit and a bit of gypsy (though I think some of that is largely due to my ancestors, who were, in fact, gypsies), and a year ago if you were to ask me where I saw myself in 5 years, at least in terms of location, I would have had no answer. I've never been the type who can imagine putting down roots; I'm an adventurer, an explorer, a traveling soul. I've always looked forward to and embraced opportunities that allow me to relocate and become a part of a new community. However in the last couple months I've noticed a change. I still want to travel and see the world, but I don't find myself afraid to linger somewhere for a couple years. I believe part of this is that, for the first time in my life, I have allowed myself to truly become immersed into my new circle of friends, my community, and my location. Until now, I suppose, I have remained on the surface level of any community (other than my family's home) I have lived in. Also, though, I think up to this point, I have just had a subconscious fear of becoming stagnant; that putting down roots was the equivalent of giving up on life and its adventures. I'm realizing now that this notion was, and is, a bit ridiculous, and that, as it turns out, putting down roots can actually enrich my life in ways I never thought possible, without killing my gypsy spirit. I never imagined I would be someone who would make their future plans based around a home, but that is exactly what I have begun to do. My list of PA programs that I wish to apply to is now largely centered around the concept of staying close to where I am at. When looking for a new apartment, I'm considering only places that will move me closer to my friends (my IL family). It's crazy, but for the first time since moving out of my parent's house, I feel at home somewhere...and in some ways, I feel more at home here than I ever did in Ohio. I laugh at the notion that perhaps I am just getting older, because I think there is more to it than that. I am growing wiser and allowing life to truly sink in. I'm engaging in my surroundings, rather than just existing within them and it's remarkable! I'm excited to see what else the future holds, how this new concept (at least for me) will come into play, and where else life will take me.
Sorry for the suuuuper long entry, but that's what I get for not having blogged in a couple weeks I suppose.
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